All right, this is a WASTE of time from all viewpoints, but (being alone at Grandma's house,) I have no one to TALK to or to SHARE these funnies with and so I must share them via the blog.
You see, if I don't share them they will just decay inside me as I sleep.
All these funnies are taken from "32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny 'Life Lessons from Teaching'" by Phillip Done (winner of the Schwab Foundation Distinguished Teacher Award).
I saw this book on the library shelf as I was looking for books to inspire me for an experiment that could be done for science fair. (I think I have finally decided on one, by the way. It will be about sound.)
ANYWAYS -- I must share the funnies quickly so that I can read some of the Bible and then head off to some hours of Sleepy Land and then wake up REFRESHED and ready to GO!!!
I hope I don't need to explain why these are funnies. They are funny to me because they SPEAK to me. I CONNECT with these teacherly stories. Oh my, I was laughing out loud. (Do you know that it is slightly sad to laugh when there is no one around to hear you and then ask, "why are you laughing?" Maybe that's why I am a loud laugher -- my self-focused ways...)
Anyways, to these funnies:
His chapter is entitled "Mrs. Wilson" and I am VERY tempted to type out the whole chapter, but I won't. It could be against copyright. I will type the best parts, however.
"There are some teachers who make me sick. No matter how hard I try, I will never be like them. Never. Take Mrs. Wilson, for example. I hate her."
(Now except for the "hate" part -- I identify with that WHOLE statement. Especially while student teaching and in my first year of teaching.)
"Mrs. Wilson's pencil sharpener does not have crayon in it. Mrs. Wilson's smock has no paint on it. The handles of her paintbrushes do not have paint on them either.
Her kids walk in a straight line, do not talk in the hall, do not pick mud off their shoes during story hour, always raise their hands, and never spill paint."
(Building the funny.)
"Mrs. Wilson changes her bulletin boards diligently each month. Apples make way for pumpkins, which come down for turkeys. When she's putting up snowmen, I'm taking down, 'What Did You Do This Summer?'
Mrs. Wilson has a box for everything (which she covered herself of course with contact paper) -- a box for [...] She even has a box for her boxes. (Pilers just cannot comprehend this.)
Her crayons are all in separate containers too. [...] You would never see a green crayon in the blue tub. Never.
My crayons are all in one box -- the same box as all my yarn, burlap, felt, orange juice cans, popsicle sticks, and rabbit food. [...]
Mrs. Wilson handwrites each Back to School Night invitation, turns her room into a haunted house for Halloween, dresses up like a pilgrim for Thanksgiving, and has snow shipped in for her winter party. It's even been whispered that the thank-you cards for her Christmas gifts are written, addressed, and stamped BEFORE she receives the gifts. [...]
How does she do it, I'd like to know? What is her secret? How is it that her stapler is always full, her glue bottles always pour, her po-up books still pop up, and her paper clips never hook themselves to each other when you take them out of the box? How, after thirty-five years, does she still have all her checker pieces?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thoughts I have pondered. I will never be that perfect teacher. That prized goal of a teacher. Nope, not me.
(If you are NOT laughing, pretend that I am there laughing next to you.
"HahahahahahaHAHAHA!!!!" There you go. It's SO much more enjoyable to laugh with OTHERS.)
I LOVED this one. He said that there are only six classrooms in the entire world.
"The six models include the Shock, the Chi, the Natural, the Pile, the Hospital, and the Model Home."
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
The Shock -- all wall space is covered in students' work and learning posters. (This is a piece of me.)
The Chi -- all is "balanced" and "peaceful".
The Natural -- all is hippie and earth-friendly.
The Pile -- (I am PART piler. What gave me encouragment was that he won a teacher AWARD and yet he is/was a piler!!)
He said, "I pile papers on my desk. I pile them on the floor. I pile them on the rabbit cage. I pile on my piles. I have three file cabinets. If you open them, you will see piles. But it is not easy to be a teacher and a piler. Pilers are often misunderstood and made fun of behind their piles -- especially by those who work in Hospitals."
(hahaha I feel that those last sentences are TRUE!)
Hospitals -- Nothing hanging anywhere.
"Hospital teachers do not lick their fingers to clean their overhead transparencies. And they do not add extra baking soda and vinegar into the papier-mache volcano to see how much lava will erupt all over the teacher's desk."
(hahaha!!! That sounds like fun.)
Model Home -- I connect with the man here. He wishes he could be the Model Home (and even notes that pilers are dreamers) and so do I. The "Model Home" classroom would be the ideal. It just means that all things are coordinated and nice.
He does note that a person CAN be a combination of 2 classrooms. The music teacher at his school was (apparently) 1/5 Shock and 4/5 Piler. I might be along those lines. My wall space is not FULLY covered, but I like covered walls. I am not as MUCH a Piler as it sounds like he is.
I don't know that Grace Academy really falls into his six categories.
I wonder what our categories are?? hahaha
Probably: Ubben, Hehe, Hackbarth, Israel, Brown, Martin, Rice, and Kline.
We are as unique as our elementary classrooms.
I think Israel is close to the Model Home. I have some ideas about the others, but I don't know that I have their permission to speak.
As I continue to browse through and read some of the stories in this man's book I feel a connection to him. I can relate to some of his stories. His classroom is not perfect, but he enjoys his students. His classroom is not always orderly and listening. There are times of crazed energy exuding from the students and the situation. Nice to know I am not alone.
BUT, how did he become a DISTINGUISHED teacher?
(No, I don't want fame for my teaching abilities; I just want to excel in teaching.)
It's also encouraging to hear that I am not the only one with students who talk out, talk in line, talk when they are supposed to be working, have boys who have sword fights with their school supplies, have piles in the room, will never seem to reach that point of "teacherly perfection," etc, etc.
May the Lord complete the work He has begun in me as a saint and as a teacher. :0)
The point is: may I glorify HIM and not myself.
(Can that be done with PILES? That is a true question. For me, are piles a sign of laziness? Probably. Do they show that I am ABOUNDING in the work of the Lord? Perhaps not. Can piles be a piece of my personality? Sometimes. They are helpful reminders of what I have to do...if I look through them in a timely manner. haha)
Refine me, Lord!
