Guess what?! Guess what?!!

I was browsing through my blog trying to see what I have been writing about for the past four years and guess what??

There are times when I sound like a broken record.

I just repeat myself every year.

Sure, it's in a different tone and in a different way (I HOPE a little LESS sin each time), but it's essentially the same. It's always that I don't want the changes that are coming to happen.

I have found it funny to notice that I am also so scared that my life will have no purpose. That God will just abandon me to a meaningless life. When I was around the age of 12-14 I created a website entitled, "Do You Want a Revolution?" as taken from Kirk Franklin's song of the same title. (You should go take a listen. Revolution Song.) I just have always wanted to be apart of a meaningful group that is a catalyst for a meaningful change. My fear is that I will never truly affect anything in the supposed "monotony" of my current existence.

I am ready to get out of that stupidity in my thinking patterns.

God is faithful!

He has chosen me to be conformed to the IMAGE of His Son. Is that a life without purpose?!

There is not even a good response to that idiotic question.

Maybe, "of course not, you fool!" would be appropriate.

I SITLL think it would be FUN to start a protest of some kind, but through many and various conversations, I see that it is most important to make changes and to be faithful where God has already placed me, especially in the mundane tasks of life.
(Thank you: mom, Oswald Chambers, professors, fellow teachers, and most recently, Esther Martin. haha)

To continue, as I was browsing my past-postings I discovered that I wrote a blog posting on August 29th, 2008. What was the inspiration for this writing? My first teacher in service week had just ended.

hahaha

I was looking forward to how God was going to grow and change me. I said something about knowing that it was going to be hard and that God would be faithful to stretch me.
(Uhhh...ya think?!)
At that time I was fighting hard against the idea of predestination. I was also questioning why I had to stay for the rest of my days in my father's house. (Yes, I am assuming a particular something; no my dad has not banished me to eternal-nunnery in his home.)

Strange, that while I may have developed in my understanding of the Lord and His goodness and His power, He is still using the same tools to refine me and even (almost) identical situations to change me. (Dad says, "you leave CA and come to WA." And now we say, "we're leaving WA for OH!")

Crazy.
(Crazy that I keep on fighting!!)

So, how will I respond since I am TIRED of walking in circles around this wilderness? (I want to get going to the PROMISED LAND! On to NEW adventures! Defeat those other surrounding nations!! Although, as the Lord has recently reminded me -- the wilderness was meant to TEST their hearts and to HUMBLE them. Hmmm...)

I will take this as an adventure.
I will trust the Lord and DELIGHT in His plan.
I will remember that it is not as I will, but as He wills.
I will remember that He has appointed ALL authority and so I must submit to it. (Yeah... THAT lesson AGAIN.)
I will remember that God cares for ALL my needs and Jesus supplies all our needs according to the riches of His glory. (Hallelujah!)

Again I MUST say to myself, "trust and obey, for there is NO other way to be happy in Jesus than to TRUST and OBEY!"

I will be sad to leave the people, but GOD HAS A PLAN!!!

Do I want to miss out on seeing and finding the goodness of the Lord in what He has CHOSEN and SELECTED to give me in this life?!?!
Do I want to miss this opportunity to glorify the name of Jesus on earth as well as in the heavenlies, in the sight of the principalities and powers?!

No way, Jose!

Plus, why am I making this so difficult and fighting against the idea of living under my father's direct authority so much?

LET IT GO!

If I can't handle submission to this -- how could I glorify God if He allowed me to have a horrible sickness? Or how could I glorify Him on the missionary field in times of monotony and difficulty?

I do love adventure, but it's often the adventure that I myself have planned and chosen and purposed and approved.

Nope, nope.

God does NOT work that way.

So, what shall I do? How then shall I live?

Trust in Him and THRIVE!

Okay, I guess the adventure is underway...or underfoot...something like that.

TALEEHO! Come adventure, the Lord and I will smite thee!!
(I make myself laugh...)