I have been reading, meditating on, contemplating, and questioning 2nd Corinthians. I have only gotten as far as chapter 1 verse 11. That’s ALMOST halfway through the first chapter. (heh – and not necessarily because I am “so spiritual,” but because I haven't taken enough time to truly concentrate.)
I would now like to share what the Lord has been revealing to me through His word in order to bring glory to His name; in order to proclaim His goodness in the marketplace.
In context, Paul opens his letter to speak to the Corinthians about the suffering they are enduring for their (Corinthians') comfort and salvation. He is telling them that they(Corinthians) too must suffer in order to know the great comfort of Christ. “we know that AS you are partakers of the sufferings so also you will partake of the consolation.” (2nd Corinthians 1:7)
– May that convict my soul. What am I willing to suffer so that I may know the CONSOLATIONS and COMFORTS of Christ?! So that I may comfort others with the comfort of Jesus? So that I may join Him in glory?! (joint heir’s MUST suffer – Romans 8:17)
And that by way of introduction; I now come to the main point:
2nd Corinthians 1:8c-10
“...that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we even despaired of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, [so] that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead, who deliverED us from so great a death, and DOES deliver us; in whom we trust that He will STILL deliver us.”
--God allowed them to be “burdened beyond measure, above strength” even so that they “despaired of life.”
When I was first reading through, I was SHOCKED.
(Yes, I HAVE read Corinthians before.)
THEY (in particular, PAUL?!) DESPAIRED of LIFE?!!
(For self-pitying reasons, I have been there…but PAUL?!!)
Then I began thinking, “wait! I thought God doesn’t burden us beyond what we are able to handle?!”
I turned to 1st Corinthians to check myself.
El wrong-o.
He doesn’t TEMPT us beyond what we can bear. He does not allow us to be TEMPTED beyond what we can bear, but He does not give us this same promise in the area of suffering. (Job.) Whoa.
(WHY?)
So, Paul et. al. were despairing of life because of the burden God placed upon them.
WHOA! They had the “sentence of death” in themselves.
Again – Crazy.
This is deep, crazy stuff they were going through.
My mind turns to the persecuted church – family members dying, being beaten, tortured, imprisoned, starved, spied on, mocked, rejected – and yet what comes next?
“THAT” (in order that/so that/for the purpose of)
(This is the “WHY” questioned before…)
“THAT we should NOT trust in OURSELVES, but in GOD…”
(“I’ll set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely; with every day pour out my soul, and He will prove His mercy.” –My Soul Finds Rest in God Alone)
--God works trials in us (of various kinds and natures - James 1) that we would be HUMBLED. So that we would realize our mortal and helpless state, so that we would turn and bow down before Him and acknowledge our pathetic weakness and inability to live without the gracious gift of His breath which He CHOOSES to give to us.
(“Though life is but a fleeting breath, a sigh too brief to measure, My King has crushed the curse of death and I am His forever.”)
Here’s the hope of Paul, “God who RAISES the dead”. YESSSSS!!!
This is not a question. This is not a mere hypothesis. PAUL KNOWS.
This is ASSURANCE. Paul BANKS on the fact that while he might have come to the point of despairing of life, while he may have had the sentence of death within himself – God had a plan for them to remove their trust from themselves and to plant it FIRMLY in God who RAISES the DEAD!!!!
First, Paul identified God’s sovereignty and control in the situation.
Second, Paul identified the goodness of God’s plan – his sanctification/His goodness and God’s glory.
Third, Paul identified what God has revealed/promised He will do. Paul chose to focus on that FACT alone and trust GOD above all other emotions or circumstantial evidences.
1:10, “who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us.”
Paul is willing and able to die because He knows who will give him his LIFE.
I love the three stages in there too.
PAST: Jesus’ death, resurrection, and selection of us has been our first experience of being delivered from the death of sin. We are no longer shackled by the control of sin! We are now DEAD to sin, but ALIVE to righteous! We have been brought to LIFE after having been DEAD in our trespasses and sins.
PRESENT: “does deliver” – HALLELUJAH!
1st John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Take off the old man and put on the new man! We are NOW perfect in Christ, and yet, we still see dimly as in a mirror, but soon we shall be CHANGED and we will see Him as He truly is and then we will be like Him! We will know HIM as HE knows us!
But now, he DOES deliver! He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able, but will always provide a way of escape that we may be able to bear under it. We are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus FOR the purpose of walking in the good works God has prepared for us!!!!!
I think of “Pilgrim’s Progress,” Jesus must deliver us on a daily basis or else we would never see Him. (Praise Him that He is our FAITHFUL high priest.)
FUTURE: “still deliver” – This part requires trust. “in whom we trust that He will still deliver us.” Paul chooses to trust wholly and completely. He has seen the death-deliverances before and He knows that God is faithful and keeps His promises. What He has started He will bring to a full completion.
Paul chooses to look forward to that day when he will be completely new.
Paul looks forward to that day when he will rise as He calls His name; no more sorrow, no more pain.
Paul trusts that he can have the “sentence of death” within himself because he knows whom he has believed and is persuaded that He is able to keep what he has committed to Him until THAT Day.
Paul trusts that he can have the “sentence of death” within himself because he has the proof of the comfort of Christ, he has proof of salvation, and he knows he can die.
That was a shock to my brain:
Do I trust Him enough to die - to myself?
We keep talking about “dying to ourselves” and “living on unseen things,” and this has made me try to DO those things.
The Lord has provided a way for me to practice: continue to live with my family in order to honor and obey my earthly father.
Now, I THOUGHT I was over the fighting for my rights thing.
I thought I was done being independent, rebellious, etc.
I thought I had become a nice, happy, submissive, homemaking (hah), daughter.
El-wrong-o, again.
This Ohio move made old sin leftovers crust back to the top.
(HEY! Like the stirred pot of beans…so they don’t burn! Just what Sean was saying!! I am glad I am not a pot of BURNING beans. The Lord loves me!!!!)
Anyways, I have NOT wanted to die to my “reputation” as a responsible adult. (What responsible 24 year old still lives at home in this culture?)
I have not wanted to die in order to say, “My dad can be right and I will serve him joyfully.”
No, no. I have wanted to find a way to be released.
Now, let me say that I DO see the Lord’s work in that these were thoughts instead of expressed words or actions. And when I thought these thoughts I was “trying” (however lamely) to fight them. But, they are still deceitful little turds and have not been fully killed.
In recent days I have been thinking about Philippians 1 and 2 – “live worthy of the Gospel” and "Christ made Himself of NO reputation, but became obedient to DEATH even death on the CROSS" – and HE was 33 years old. (And He was GOD and laid aside His reputation in order to be maligned and condemned as a man for sins He never committed.)
Yesterday, through people praying aloud for me, I realized I have not been reminding myself that God is sovereign. Through that I then recalled that God IS sovereign – even over my DAD’s requests, thoughts, and desires.
SAY WHAT?!
So, at this time – this is God’s plan.
God is sovereign!
Man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.
Oh ho!! Isn’t that TRUE for Alicia?!
And, irony from the Lord:
what BETTER way to make Alicia go to Ohio (for whatever purpose) WHILE growing her in trusting the Lord, (in submission, in dying to self, in pride, in laying aside the sin that so easily entangles,) than to have her DAD be the tool (the means) that gets her there?
It makes me want to cry, actually.
To FINALLY see –
God does not (presently) want me to be a teacher at Grace Academy. (He has other plans for the school.)
God wants me in Ohio. (I say this because I trust that He is sovereign.)
God is in control over my dad. (I say this because I trust that he is sovereign and working.)
God directs my steps. (I will not trust my own understanding.)
Ohio is my step. (I will trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus.)
I must PRAISE Him fully and heartily because I will rejoice and praise His name – and (as from the conviction of His Word):
I can die to my pride (being an independent/”responsible” adult) because I know Who will raise me up.
I have confidence that I will be raised from the dead – if I would choose to die.
Isn’t that a delight!
We DIE because we know we will LIVE!
[ “Oh praise Him! Hallelujah!! My Delight and my Reward!! Everlasting, never failing!! My Redeemer, my God.”]
I have loved independence more than the hope of heaven/glory/Jesus.
It's not about my earthly father, it's about the will and plan of my heavenly Father.
Trusting, I will die. (May the Holy Spirit work mightily so I can!)
Luke 9:23-25 “Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?’”
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