A New Discovery

Guess what?!

(Through tears,) I have discovered that I love people!

This was NOT so true last year at about this same time.
Last year I actually went to write down the names of those I love and came up with few outside of my family and students.
I cared for people, but realized I didn’t actually LOVE them.

Crazy.

That’s what makes Ohio so hard to RUN to and to FLING myself into loving.

I don’t want to be a “traitor” to my people groups here.

I have experienced a sudden change and now the sadness is coming from leaving the peoples. Leaving what they will be doing. Leaving the opportunity to see them grow and change and become NEW.

…Leaving people who I love…and (it would seem)…who love me…

These are the same issues I had when I left my sisters and went to Capernwray Bible School in England. I didn’t want to leave my sisters without my protection and guidance. I didn’t want to miss out on them losing teeth, growing inches taller, learning new things, experiencing new things, or in being a part of everyday laughs that no one talks about because its memories fade into the background of your mind.

I think that is what has happened with the church at Grace. I don’t want to miss out on their “incidental” moments.

BUT! Am I THANKFUL that I went to Capernwray – even if I had to leave my sisters behind?!
(Even if I had to be the “traitor” and call another place my “home”?)

OH YES!

Capernwray showed me my need to DEPEND on the Lord ALONE and in ALL things (including salvation and in my day-to-day tasks.)
Capernwray took me out of my bubble and allowed me to have an ADVENTURE.
Capernwray introduced me to new people to love and appreciate.

In short: the Lord was FAITHFUL and so KIND!! (He sent me to ENGLAND!!)

Ohio is the same. (Maybe not in beauty, however. heh)

I do say – HOORAH! That I have cried.

Why?

Because that means I actually LOVE people who are here.
Because I think they are no longer tears of questioning thoughts such as, “why am I following my dad at 24?” but thoughts of, “I will miss them."

(Crazy.) Because that means the Lord has actually CHANGED me and possibly used me.
HALLELUJAH!

Praise Him! Praise Him all you little children! God is love, God is love!
Praise Him, praise Him all you little children. God is love! God is love.

So with this blog posting I will not toss away my tears and command them to never come, but I will CHOOSE to delight myself in what the Lord has chosen. I will choose to say GOOD BYE! to Washington and the people the Lord has brought into my life and HELLO! to Ohio and the new possibilities of people.

(WOOHOO! That is rather exciting.)

(Funny thing, I have written this same idea in other places. It’s easy to say and do for two days and then my flesh takes over and wants to be in control and guide the plan again. I will PRESS ON to not allow those thoughts THIS time.)

So, while I am hard-pressed in a triangle of Washington, Ohio, and Heaven – wherever and whenever He chooses to take me, there will be rejoicing and a bearing of fruit because He will complete the work He has started. Amen and Amen.
All for His glory alone.
Fight the fight, finish the race, defend the faith, beat the body into submission, capture those thoughts, love Him, thank Him, pray, and live.

Amen.